A traditional Australian meal, apparently: take two slices of white bread. The instructions didn’t specify buttering them, so I didn’t. The gravy would make it moist anyway; that comes with the chips. Aussies call them ‘hot chips’, so you won’t confuse them with potato crisps. There’s a thing called chicken salt, too - but let’s not get into that yet. The deeper mysteries of Australian cuisine must wait until you’ve completed this initiation.