November 08, 2013

No pants, no pills, no problem

This week’s work:

Welcome to Malibu, rehab city - The Observer Sunday Magazine

Now Google thinks I am a rich person with a substance abuse problem. It keeps showing me YouTube ads for high-end addiction clinics.

Why the Abortion Pill Didn’t Change Everything -

Featuring previously unpublished quotes from a 2006 reporting trip I took to an abortion clinic in Nebraska! #recycling #freelancetips

Pie chart: What’s in our Netflix queue? - The Hairpin

Oh, I’m just going to spend 45 minutes selecting a movie and then fall asleep 15 minutes after it starts.

Pie chart: What’s in our suitcase? - The Hairpin
I haven’t been traveling lately, but I have had a spate of houseguests, including dynamic duo Mercy & Ryan, the fabulous Sara & Sarah, and the lovely Anna Holmes, who is on a multi-state book tour and definitely packed a dress she hasn’t worn once.

The Backlash Against Movember - Refinery29

It’s mostly aesthetic.

A Quantum Guide to L.A. Strip Malls - Los Angeles magazine
Cannot believe I didn’t include “weed store.” Major oversight.


Everything you’ve always wanted to know about me and were not at all afraid to ask. Repeatedly.

I'm reading:

Chris Kraus’s I Love Dick. (Finally!) The latest issue of Lucky Peach. “Selena Gomez saw a ghost once.” I feel bad for teen boys and merchant marines. The banality of the super-macho. Why it’s good for men to pay for maternity care. Sexual assault is at epidemic levels in the military. A jailed Pussy Riot member has disappeared. What happens when you bulldoze an entire neighborhood. All of the info embedded in a single tweet. “I’ll meet you halfway.” Friends matter. An interview with obsessive paper-collector Chad Kouri. Launching a blog takes a serious toll on personal hygiene. “One person’s illogical belief is another person’s survival skill.” The worst article about millennials, and some of the best. The United States is about to lose its UNESCO vote. Sweden formally adopted the Bechdel test, and I applaud that. But I am also unashamed to tell you how excited I am for the new Anchorman movie.


I’m taking most of next week off and going to the desert. I love the desert. Prepare yourself for the possibility that next Friday’s newsletter will just be a series of psychedelic giraffe GIFs or something.

I endorse:

Leslie Hall, the best performance artist/rapper/gold spandex enthusiast from my home state of Iowa, who has a new song about the joys of not wearing pants. This is a woman who truly speaks to the Midwest female experience: She has written our anthem. Also, Katy Perry totally stole her look. (Related: Leslie’s endorsements.)


This is the seventh in a recurring series in which I answer questions and explain concepts you’re already quite familiar with. Thanks to “Pizza Party” for this week’s query! Would you like me to Annsplain something to you? Submit a request.

WHAT *EXACTLY* DIFFERENTIATES MOM-BUTT PANTS FROM NORMAL HIGH-WAISTED PANTS? Often, there is no difference. Mom-butts are normal. Often sexy! I have created a Venn diagram* to help you visualize the possibilities:

*This diagram inspired by a Tumblr search for “Thelma & Louise”.


Guess who's sitting in the tax assessor's office and forgot her book, but still has a bounty of reading material now??” - Asha Dane’el. I’m here for you, girl.

“Can't tell you how much I love these.” -my neighbor Ryan Andolina

I love this newsletter so much, thank you for being the best.” -Ashley C. Friedman. NO RELATION, I swear.

“I'm keeping an @annfriedman email in my inbox because it gives it a little...oomph.” -Alejandra Owens

This newsletter is approved for off-label use.

Forward it to every pantsless Midwest diva you know.

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