December 12, 2014


I'm home from Guatemala, where I barely glanced at email and did yoga every day without dying! I owe it all to my dear friend and retreat co-conspirator Gracy O. Thanks to all of you for putting up with my pre-programmed newsletters while I was gone. I'm so back:   

Domestic gods: How a manservant could change your life - The Observer Sunday Magazine
In which I admit to the world that I hired a man to feed me cheese. 

Friendship Breakups Are Our First Heartbreaks -
The pain is real.

Hey millionaire tech bros: Have patience with the editorial process - Columbia Journalism Review
What it was like to work for really rich guys who love PowerPoint and say "stoked" a lot.

Episode 13: So Much Booty & Episode 14: Top Shelf 2014 - Call Your Girlfriend
Amina and I discuss the squatty potty, columbusing the booty, and our favorite books and movies of the year.

And here's a video of me reading a few of my columns at Radar Reading Series in San Francisco this fall.

I'm reading:

Delusions about and divides over Ferguson. Riding in a cab with Erica Garner. The unsettling persistence of Zwarte Piet. How black girls are disciplined differently. Overheard: An encouraging story about race. Run DMC, Parliament, blackness, and revolution. The lightness of whiteness. How to deal with racists on Facebook and in 100-year-old magazines. The Ivy League's ties to slavery. Britain jails a higher proportion of its black citizens than the US. What racists and rapists have in common, and the false belief that our systems work. Lessons from fact-checking. When the personal fails the political. Understanding cultural appropriation. Can a wife with dementia consent to sex? Getting to no. Can you keep a city weird and also make it safe? What it's like to be drugged by Bill Cosby. You can't buy happiness. Odd friendships, visualized. Mom friendships. A personal history of voicemail. The crumbs of Portland foodies. Your first sober Christmas. The rise of the online vigilante detective. Get it together, pseudo-feminist tech dudes. The blunt force of Channing Tatum's faceLady J. An all-gay mariachi band. Turns out you can't lose a guy in 10 days. An anatomy of "Since U Been Gone." Here comes a regular. Going braless. What happens when you try to get an octopus to navigate a maze. "I knew, knew, I'd be ok without children." Stop treating pregnant women like shit. Bitcoin boyYouTube celebs, and the internet's boyfriend. On claiming your name. Amy Schumer's ode to Tilda Swinton. Listen to Chris Rock and Mykki BlancoShonda Rhimes breaks the ceiling. 

Book-wise, on vacation I read Writing Down the Bones (again) and Miranda July's forthcoming novel and Kim Gordon's forthcoming memoir and Marilynne Robinson's Gilead. I've just started Meghan Daum's The Unspeakable and I'm really into it.


What's the password? Obama talks about racism. '80s shopping mall vibes. Baby Ruffalo. Also, I finally started listening to Serial. I am interested but nowhere near obsessed. Then again, crime dramas (true or fictional) have never really been my thing. 


I feel calmer and happier just looking at these loops by Drew Tyndall.

Gifts that I endorse*:

St. BeySt. Maggie. The best mug. Classes or lessons in painting, beekeeping, bread-baking, piano, ceramics, going freelance, whatever. Cheese. Dusen Dusen notecards and some nice postage stampsGosling socks. A copy of Spook or The Gentlewoman, or a subscription to The Baffler or The New Inquiry. Eccentric Soul records. Burn (Mac)Book. Hair powder, aka the gift of not having to shampoo. An aspirational URL (example: or a custom inside-joke tumblr, like this ridiculous Billy Zane tribute I made for a friend many years ago. Sunday New York Times home delivery—a true luxury gift. Everything bagel shirt. Free babysitting. A Golden Girls activity book. Clear Care (I know this is super nerdy, but it changes lives/eyeballs). Pizza Baggu! Healthgoth sports bra. Vintage leatherWhitney tee. Collage art. "I don't care if you like it." Er, I don't care if you dye kit. Tampon tee. A hard-to-kill houseplant or terrarium. A big empty notebook and some pens. A fruit and veg calendarRadish-scented everything. Tiny Beautiful Things. The Essential Ellen Willis. French whisky. The perfect facemask, corn bags, and other fab #spinstergifts. Homemade granola or sriracha salt or zucchini pickles. Your Netflix/HBOgo/Hulu Plus login info. A pledge to listen really attentively all year long.

*Sort of like Oprah's Favorite Things, only Ann's Favorite Things. Or, more accurately, Stuff Ann Saw Online and Liked, along with some nonmaterial gift ideas. Spoiler alert for my friends/fam: You're not getting any of this. I'm giving you all textiles from Guatemalan women's weaving collectives.


Perhaps you've heard of, a new, invite-only site where users share only one incredible link per day? If you've read everything I linked here and are looking for even more great stuff to read, I've got 25 invites to give away. They go to the first 25 people to hit reply.


"@annfriedman's GET IT TOGETHER list... I could cry tears of joy for how validated I feel." -Katie Kather. The thing that makes me a truly modern internet user is that I'm happy to repurpose my failures as "inspirational" content. I'll publish our collective 2015 To-Do List in an upcoming newsletter.

"You have changed my Saturday morning game completely. All those tabs give me a warm glow in my heart. They also make my computer fan sound like it's breathing heavily in anticipation." -Manya Scheps. This is a really hot testimonial!

"Another Friday, another ridiculously good @annfriedman weekly. Schwing!" -Caira Conner. This tweet prompted me to google "schwing" in search of a good Wayne's World gif, and it turns out Schwing is—I KID YOU NOT—the name of a pump manufacturer. Hahhahahahahahahaha.

"I thought this was a personal email. I got GOT." -my dear friend Samhita Mukhopadhyay. Lesson: I should email my IRL besties more often. 

"Everyone should just be subscribed to it, because it is THE BEST." -Brightest Young Things recommends you sign up your loved ones for this newsletter... as a Christmas gift. Hey, at least it's free.

"My mother on the phone, asking why I can't be more like @annfriedman." -Valgeir Valdimarsson. Next time my own mother is disappointed in me, I'm forwarding her your tweet.

This newsletter is a dream weaver.
Forward it to total babes.
--->> <<---
--->> <<---
--->> <<---
www | twitter | facebook | email