- Spill red wine all over yourself. Ask everyone how they're feeling. You are a vinotherapist.
- Talk to another woman about something other than a man. You are the Bechdel Test.
- Wear all black workout gear, ideally with appliquéd white reflective crosses. Apply way too much eyeliner and really dark lipstick. You are health goth.
- Go to a thrift store and buy a men's suit that is 4 sizes too big. You are David Byrne in Stop Making Sense.
- Wear a beige sweatsuit and get a few friends to do the same. Carry musical instruments. You are the rest of the Talking Heads in Stop Making Sense.
- Put a brightly colored sleeping bag over your head and shake all night long. You are a vibrator.
- Get stoned. Wear men's briefs and jeans and a napkin as a shirt. Put your hair in pigtails. You are Ilana from Broad City.
- Balance a stack of unread New Yorkers on your head. You are everybody's coffee table. - Find a black unitard. Cut a plastic pumpkin in half and wear it as a mask. Dance like you've never danced before. You know who you are.
....plus 10 more ideas that are old but still pretty good, and even more ideas in flow-chart form.
"That hour on a Friday when I bork my browser by clicking on all of the links in @annfriedman's newsletter." - Kim Werker. I can't decide if I love or hate the idea that this newsletter defeats your browser through an organized campaign of public vilification.
"You almost made me pee my pants." -my bestie Bridget Paul, reacting to my free idea for Nicholas Sparks in last week's newsletter. This is a high compliment.
"Boom. 10 a.m. that's the real deal. Now I've got a whole day to get up to speed with 'the Ann Friedman way of looking at the world.'" -Julia Crain. That's just my California, laid-back, tie-dyed point of view.