November 01, 2013

Wild sides and secret lairs

This week’s work:

Our Tumblrs, Our Teenage Selves -

”This is a triumph of the teen-girl aesthetic approach to the world: that you surround yourself with images that you feel reflect who you are or who you want to be.” Apparently I wanted to be George Burns and Lisa Simpson. But this is how I remember myself.

#realtalk: What does “ethnic media” mean these days? - Columbia Journalism Review

In which my friend Jorge Rivas, a national correspondent for Fusion explains how difficult it is to convince some people he’s writing in English.

Last-Minute Halloween Costume Ideas for the Modern Woman -

In helpful flowchart format!

Women In Search of a Good Online Dating Experience - KPCC’s Air Talk
We talked about what women think of Tinder and other dating apps.

Pulling out of conventional birth control - CBC Radio One
I have no idea what I said on Canadian radio because it was 4:45am PST. I think it was about my “pull-out generation” article.

Live! In person!

The Book of Jezebel Panel

Barnes and Noble at The Grove in Los Angeles

7pm on Wednesday, November 6

I’m chatting with Anna Holmes and Jessica Coen and Amanda Hess and Jill Soloway—total SHEROES. Even if you don’t live in L.A. (it’s ok, nobody’s perfect) or don’t feel like venturing out to the mall, you can still order your very own copy of the book.

I'm reading:

Lou Reed tributes from Laurie Anderson and John Cale and Ann Powers and (posthumously) Ellen Willis. The truly astounding and terrible things women go through to get abortions. A defense of Slutoween. A history of the sweet tooth. The fine line between Facebook and the NSA. A shift in how corporations are managed. Uh, voting is important. bell hooks digs deep. A tale of two Austins. The problem with episodic TV criticism. “In order to talk about what we left behind in Los Angeles, we must be aware of what has gone missing.” The trials of Ghanaian witches. How social media is redefining depression. Living with scanxiety. A literary review of the DSM-V. “We’re here, we’re queer, we’re also looking for BFFs.” Degrees based on what you learn, not how long you’re in school. In praise of the flâneur. The decline of Wikipedia. (Relatedly, I discovered this week that I have a Wikipedia page. So weird.) Technology isn’t the problem—it’s you. Forget standing desks; let’s all work from bed.


Scared because it’s Halloween. Also scared because that means it’s basically Christmas. To quote a text message I received from my mother today, “Christmas cups at Starbucks. Too early in my opinion… Have a good weekend!”

I endorse:

Alice Munro and Margaret Atwood hanging out in a “secret lair.”


This is the sixth in a recurring series in which I answer questions and explain concepts you’re already quite familiar with. Thanks to “worried 20-something” for this week’s query! Would you like me to Annsplain something to you? Submit a request.

HOW DO I NOT DIE ALONE? You know how sometimes there’s a night when you don’t have plans and you wish you did? And you’re feeling kind of sorry for yourself, like, “Boo-hoo, nobody has called me to make plans!”? Just call someone. Always be the person who calls. And you will not die alone.


I saw the subject line and instinctively thought OH GOD YES I WILL BE YOUR BFF and then realized you probably were not emailing me directly and remembered this whole listserve thing. So thanks for being deceptive, Ann L. Friedman. (Put that in your testimonials and smoke it.)” -Charlotte Murtishaw. Puff puff exhale.

“BEST Subject Heading (BSH).” -Carolyn Pennypacker Riggs, one of my most DTC (down to chill) friends.

“Oh my - your new logo illustrates everything my 8-year-old Australian self adored about the USA. It is simply perfect - like your newsletter. Thanks for the great read each week!” -Catherine in Australia. All logo credit goes to Dylan C. Lathrop!

This newsletter encourages you to walk on the wild side, if only in your bedroom.

Forward it to your favorite mother nature’s son.

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