I am afraid to embrace the idea that the sum of me is the same as the lightning in the distance and the lightning bugs and the clouds and the sky and attraction and electricity and weight and gravity and big, bold power. I am afraid of my own potential. I have the power to destroy and build and induce wonder and create and impact. I am Godzilla. I am an earthquake. I am radiant. I am resilient. I am sexy. I am powerful. I had felt small for so long, and feeling big is the opposite of feeling small - and big is powerful. And power-full is scary and wonder-full and bossy and dominating and full of life. I am full of life and imperfection and power and metal and goodness and passion and guts and good medicine.
You are power-full, and full of magic and strength and you-ness. And you are beautiful and powerful and you.
And sometimes we are afraid to accept all that we are. We shy away. We are told, not that we are less than we are, but that what we are at our fullest isn't good. And you know what, that's bullshit.
This is where I am. This is the confluence of fear and ruthlessness and being big. It's the place where the three rivers join and their flow is so wide and big and strong that it pushes the smallness of fear to the edge of the waterway. Amidst the foamy bubbles stuck to the twigs and logs on the shore. This is POWER. It's just living, fully emboldened, to your widest, biggest, tallest potential. Without regret. Full of stubbornness. Full of awareness. Full of imperfection.
This is the power that drives me home. Into the lightning. Blinking with fireflies in the only winding section of road. With a view over the hill that brings on a smile that I expect to turn into a smilecry. But it just sticks there, getting bigger, welcoming the crows' feet at the corner of my eyes.
My power is in accepting my imperfection. Living right in the center of it. Wildly, boldly, imperfectly and full of error in the live and learn. A hall pass to slough off the mistakes and allow myself a big, clean, bold, wide, heavy, elephant-stomping fresh new start. Each day.
What about you?
Saturnian energies are further amplified by a square from Jupiter in Leo, which will be exact on August 3 but is in effect all month. Some themes of this Jupiter-Saturn square include:
• facing and working through the fear of being BIG and shining your light in the world
• clarifying and implementing the support system you need to manifest your creative vision
• getting more serious, disciplined and focused about bringing your vision into reality
• surrendering the need for approval and outside validation for expressing your true self.
Hell YES. YES. YES. YES. YES.