August 08, 2017

A Fierce Practice, Form & Pour

August 7, 2017
No Proofies

Turns out house building has some really good lessons to teach...

Today we got concrete. Lots and lots of concrete!

And as all that concrete was being poured, all I could think was

But, when I got to really thinking about it...there;s really a lot more than just pouring your heart out.

Because, before we got concrete, the wonderful crew set up the forms. The forms are basically a huge jello mold for the foundation. Something to pour all that concrete into. The physical structure that holds all that flowy, wet, liquidy concrete in place...until the concrete sets and can stand on its own. The forms are the support that actually gives the concrete its super-important foundation-shaped shape. The shape that it needs in order to actually hold my house up. To actually be a foundation.

So, if the trucks had just came and poured the concrete, sans forms, there would just be a GIANT concrete pancake outside the shed. Or all that concrete would just fill the bottom of the giant foundation-hole. A giant rectangle of concrete.

I think you know where I am going with this.

It's not enough to pour your heart out. It's all about having the right vessel to pour your heart into.

Right now I am choosing to pour my heart into this house project. Because I can. Because I love the way it's just a giant puzzle. Because it's a dream project and I am lucky and privileged to be able to chase that dream. I am also dripping what's left of my heart into keeping a very thin thread of writing alive during building and (what will be) a very busy, work-filled August. I am pouring my heart into my family. I am pouring my heart back into myself. I will keep pouring, but I won't let anything pool or pancake or slop over the sides and go to waste. I am decisive about my forms, because I don't have an endless supply of concrete - I can't waste it - and I am trying to build something special here.

What about you? What vessel are you pouring your heart into? How can you be intentional about setting the forms to make your pouring square or efficient or quick or long-lasting or whatever shape you need it to be?

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House projects today...
  • FOUNDATION WALLS early this morning. I am leaving at 5 am tomorrow (Tuesday) morning for three days away from the farm for a work trip. I was worried I would miss this. So I feel extremely lucky that the timing worked out for me to watch the forms and pouring this morning. YES.
  • A small break from house project to turn my attention to work projects

What is..
  • Another house-building lesson: It's good to know. As is know with your heart. I stood on top of the talled dirt pile this morning, watching the concrete trucks roll out their long concrete pouring arms and start the flow of concrete into the forms. This really is a no-turning-back moment. And, I felt completely at peace. Not just because I am perfectly happy with how this is all turning out, but because I know I am on the right path and success or disaster I am okay and know that things will turn out - mostly because I know I am headed in the right direction. No second guessing, just contentment and ease. I've faced, in the past, taking these steps toward equally big (and or permanent-ish) things and feeling myself second-guess or back-pedal or think about alternate scenarios or anything other than moving forward with ease. Those times were not comfortable (not my any measure), but I am glad that I have had them. It helps for me to know when my body and self are truly saying yes, and truly saying no - and learning how to heed, to yield, to the message inside. [Also, it feels really good for all of this to be yes, yesyes! without even a slightest question.]
  • My folks and M are incredible people and I am so grateful for their support through this fairly crazy four week stretch. THANK YOU!
  • H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y M O M ! (You the best!)
  • Now I will go back to the PowerPoint I must craft for tomorrow's training. (Sigh.)
  • Today's Archive 
Form It // Fill It
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From the archives, so they don't get lonely...
April 11, 2017
Say Your Prayers
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